have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
