i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
