dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
