I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize