North Korea, Best Korea!
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
