You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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