yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
