i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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