I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
