I can tuck mytits in my pants
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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