you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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