She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
