We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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