i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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