Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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