Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Randomize
