He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
