Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
