Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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