and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
