is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
