I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
