My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
