Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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