You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
