Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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