I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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