My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
