uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
