No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
