This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
