How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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