that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
