I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
