My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Randomize
