1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
