Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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