What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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