Buhtt sex?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
