Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
