remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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