Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize