New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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