Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
