Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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