pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
