On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
