I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize