I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize