You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
