I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
