I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
