His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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