Will you blow on my dice?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
