At least make sure they are 18
Why
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
