At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
