i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
