Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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