Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
