Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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